NFL Preseason Stats Breakdown: It's Really Hard To Award A Preseason MVP When Most Of The Best Performing Quarterbacks Got Cut

Mitchell Leff. Getty Images.

Who's ready for another 18 sad and obscure NFL stat blogs dropping every week during the regular season? Well, it's preseason for me too so to warm up for a long year ahead I scraped a bunch of preseason data to practice. But the best part of preseason data is that none of it matters except the stats that support your team. Think of preseason stats as a buffet to put on your fandom plate as you excitedly sit on your ass to get ready to consume. 

In this moment your team remains undefeated. You have a clean slate. A world of possibilty. Hope. Reality hasn't hit yet unless you're a Giants fan. So instead of running sad stats, this blog will instead focus on glad stats. Why not get even more gassed up for the season? We all know how this works. Week 1 will Smith us right in the face but that's a problem for future us. 

Besides, there's reason for optimism for pretty much every shitty 2023 team. Bryce Young has an actual wide receiver and new regime. Bo Nix is all the rage in Denver. Aaron Rodgers is healthy. The Bears have the most exciting quarterback prospect in years. The Commanders and Patriots also have rookie QB fever. Even Spencer Rattler is getting hype in New Orleans. Kyler's back and healthy with a pedigreed slam dunk all star receiver. Jim Harbaugh might not have his team running through walls, but they are breaking through elevators. And the Giants… well I said pretty much for a reason. 

Giphy Images.

Real quick on my Bears. I actually really do think they'll not only be a Playoff team but a Super Bowl contender this season. Not saying they'll win or even get there - but they'll be in the conversation. The fact that I am putting myself in the cross hairs of sad stats is not lost on me but I don't care. They'll shock the world. And here's my Truth stat to gas up my fellow Bears fans. The 2024 preseason Bears demonstrated elite depth by producing a +68 preseason point differential. That's the third best for any preseason going back to 2010. Here are the top-six with the other five having at least made the playoffs if not winning the Super Bowl:

There's no need to reveal the reason I cut this off at six teams because you'll recall this is a glad stats blog. But it's a fact that 100% of teams since 2010 that produced a 60+ point differential made the playoffs. Needless to say I've taken pretty much all the Bears futures I could find. 

OK Let's talk Pre-MVP. 

I dug up some stats on guys that are sure to give some excitement of possibilities to fans. Let's review some contestants.

Trey Lance - Dallas Cowboys:

Trey absolutely crushed it in the passing yards department. I want to be very specific about that. Over 200 yards MORE than the second highest passer this preseason. So many more yards there's no need to even look at any other stats. And that's not even your starting quarterback. Always good to know if Dak goes down again you'll have a solid backup. But that's just how they do things in Dallas. Everything is bigger (including interceptions). As a matter of fact Cooper Rush in 2016 had the best statistical preseason based on passer rating of any quarterback since 2010 with a 145.52 after going 29/33 for 311 and a 5/0 TD/INT ratio. Anyway, Cooper Rush was the Absolute GOAT of the Pre-MVPs. 

But that was then. This is now. Let's head up north as there's blood in the water for a starting spot in Minnesota with JJ McCarthy out for the year.

Jaren Hall - Minnesota Vikings:

I covered this the other day but I can't leave Jaren out of this blog. Passer rating is one of the better stats to use to evaluate production out of the quarterback position and while Jaren Hall was no Cooper Rush, he did dominate the rest of the league in quarterback play this preseason making him a shoe in for Pre-MVP:

I waited in the team parking lot for days for Jeren to either arrive or leave for the day so I could give him the award. Never saw him. Oh well. He must be staying in the facility 24/7 which explains how he was so dominant. 

Jack Plummer - Carolina Panthers

Jaren Hall wasn't the only quarterback to play mistake free ball and still get cut. Jack Plummer went all in and threw the kitchen sink this preseason by attempting the most passes without throwing an interception (43/68) for 406 yards and two touchdowns. "Nice work Jack, now get the fuck out". Tim Boyle was next most attempts with 56. You guessed it. He got cut too.

I guess it really is true. If you're a fringe player just trying to make the team, doing well in preseason doesn't fix jack shit. Even if you are a Jack Plummer. So who's the Pre-MVP? I guess we give it to Lance? Nice job not getting cut after throwing five picks in one game. Super job man. Maybe Jaren, Tim and Jack can take some notes. 

Bo Nix (It's obviously Bo Nix)

Nah - we gotta give this to Bo Nix. Dude was a draft afterthought and has killed it in preseason with Sean Payton and shows up in rank #3 on the passer rating list (let's not look at who #2 is). Bo might be the guy that comes out of nowhere. The guy no one ever thinks about. The Connor Roy to Caleb, Jayden, and Drake. Will be interesting to see if this translates as Sean keeps raving about.

But for pretty much most everyone else, the 2024 preseaon was a stark reminder that everything they do is a meaningless charade. Very few actually get a chance to make a team. The large majority are just bodies. Jaren Hall was a body. Jack Plummer was a body. The stats don't matter. The effort doesn't matter. There is no hope. No agency. 

Well look at that. Seems I found a way to make glad stats turn sad afterall. 

Guess I'm all warmed up for Week 1.

@Stathole

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